I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
