the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
