So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
