Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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