i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
