Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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