I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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