Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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