I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
