I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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