Screwed.edu
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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