She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
