Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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