You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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