and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
