Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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