At least make sure they are 18
Why
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
