I cockslap morals
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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