Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
