Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
