I think I died a long time ago.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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