I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
