there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I smell like Dick and happiness
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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