they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
