Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
