Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
