Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
