My liver just broke up with me...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
