his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
i think my cat just said my name.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
