I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
