You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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