I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
