Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
