I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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