You can't motorboat a personality
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
