New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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