so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
