My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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