Small penises have feelings too.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Randomize
