seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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