nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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