Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
