yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize