i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
My vagina is very pro this idea
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
