absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
one might say we're banned from that church
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
