im six kinds of drunk right now
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
