He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Do vagina's smell?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
