He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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