He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
