You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
