wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
